Manly, NSW: The latest addition to Manly’s South Steyne has sparked an uproar among the locals, affectionately known as the "Manly Whingers." The source of their ire? A new 3D pedestrian crossing that they believe is nothing more than an expensive optical illusion.
The Crossing Conundrum
Picture this: you're strolling down South Steyne, enjoying the ocean breeze, when suddenly, a 3D pedestrian crossing appears to leap off the pavement in front of you. “It’s like walking into a magic trick gone wrong,” grumbled Phil McCracken, a seasoned Manly Whinger. “I nearly had a heart attack the first time I saw it. Who thought this was a good idea?”
The 3D crossing, designed to give the illusion of raised blocks on the road, was meant to increase pedestrian safety by catching the attention of drivers. But for the Manly Whingers, it’s just another example of council extravagance. “It’s a glorified road painting,” scoffed Hugh Jass, shaking his head. “And probably cost as much as a small car.”
Whingers on the Warpath
The Whingers have taken to the streets (and social media) to voice their disdain. “This is what our rates are paying for?” exclaimed Anita Bath, wielding a clipboard. “I could paint a better crossing with a couple of crayons and a ruler. It’s an absolute joke!”
Local legend Ben Dover is particularly vocal. “Every time I walk across it, I feel like I’m in a poorly made video game,” he fumed. “I half expect a giant mushroom to pop out and start talking to me.”
A Waste of Time and Money?
According to the Whingers, the 3D crossing is not only a waste of money but also a colossal waste of time. “They had to close the road for days to paint this thing,” bemoaned Bea O’Problem. “Traffic was backed up for miles. And for what? So we can all trip over our own feet thinking we’re about to step off a cliff?”
Phil McCracken echoed the sentiment. “They could have fixed the potholes or cleaned up the beach,” he said, eyes rolling. “But no, they went with this. It’s like someone had a bunch of paint and a wild imagination. It’s madness.”
Tourist Trouble
Tourists, meanwhile, are baffled but amused by the local outrage. “I thought it was kind of cool,” said Ima Klutz, visiting from the UK. “But then I saw this group of people just standing there, glaring at it like it had personally insulted them. It’s like watching a sitcom.”
Others are finding it difficult to take the Whingers seriously. “I’ve never seen so many people get so worked up over a painted road,” chuckled Yul B. Sorry, a visitor from the US. “I mean, it’s clever and all, but it’s just paint!”
Council's Response
The council, for its part, has tried to calm the storm. “The 3D crossing is a safety measure,” explained spokesperson Will B. Dunn. “It’s designed to slow down traffic and make drivers more aware of pedestrians. We understand not everyone likes it, but safety is our top priority.”
This explanation has done little to appease the Whingers. “Safety? More like confusion!” declared Anita Bath. “I saw a cyclist swerve to avoid it and nearly end up in the bushes. How is that safe?”
The Future of South Steyne
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the 3D crossing has become the latest battleground for the Manly Whingers. “We’re not giving up,” vowed Phil McCracken. “We’ll petition, we’ll protest, we’ll do whatever it takes. This crossing has to go!”
So, if you find yourself on South Steyne, beware of the optical illusion that has divided a community. And if you hear a chorus of grumbling, chances are you’ve stumbled upon the Manly Whingers, still fighting the good fight against 3D road art.
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